Misconceptions about the Great Lakes

Sometimes people think humans don’t exist in the great lakes,
They are wrong, they do
They live there, they have kitchens
Biologists look to obvious choices like Huron and Michigan

It’s northern Superior and southern Erie that hold life
It should be said that these races are entirely different
In fact, wars have been fought between them
They are bitter rivals, they live beneath the sea

You see, Erie residents the Sudans, not to be mistaken
with the country, (they were here first) find cold blood to be quite useful
found in Kardashian (Superior) blood streams (present before the reality show)
Both tribes would say hi to each other when walking by, and not look down

Upon entering there homes you may notice
they too nit slogans to hang above their oven

These slogans are warm-hearted, they know meaning of meaningfulness
Posing the question, where do we exist? In some halfway breadth?
These people don’t have a word for solipsism (plum tree)
So why do we cry so much? Try finding comfort above your mother’s oven

xmas eve, or ambrosia salad driving a bentley

i sleep in.

heavy curtains blocking

natural light help me sleep

much later than 

is necessary.

i read the first twenty pages

of a dostoevsky novel.

i take a shallow, mostly cold bath

and get ready to face my family.

at my grandma's

i drink four beers and egg nog

with rum in it.

my family talks about

how fucked up other relatives are.

fake pregnancies,

fake cancers,

fat lazy asses,

bar fights, aliases and

stolen identities—

my cousin and i agree

that we are glad we all

turned out 'alright.'

i go home and sulk on

my house's heated bathroom floors.

christmas eve feels like shit

but at least i am warm.

WHY I HATE PAWN SHOPS

1) there are too many guns

2) there are too many guitars

3) in the month of december everyone inside looks like they are seriously up to no good

mid-afternoon mimosa

taylor said she would go on a date with a hotdog
and eat it
the rest of us are not so fond of hot dogs
but maybe less so fond of shellfish
to the point that neither me nor you would find any attraction
to an oyster or a clam
or the other types that stay closed and breath only in death

I have always found something sexy about almonds,
personally.
and whether smooth or rigid, they go wonderfully with beer.

Sociology of Christmas

In Max Weber's Sociology of Religion he makes two points concerning Christmas.

He says that the difference between the middle class and the peasant class is that the middle class is disconnected from nature.

In America we don't have peasants because we no longer have people connected to nature.

The poor before technology were forced to farm and live with their animals. And in the spring and summer they would eat wild food.

They had to be very connected to nature to achieve survival.

In America, we no longer need to understand nature to survive.

We live in nicely heated houses. We drive heated cars. We go to buildings and buy our food. We do not know where the food comes from. We do not care.

Monsanto grew all my food and I love it.

Americans all consider themselves middle-class because they are disconnected from nature.

Even the poor who work at restaurants and in factories, as lanscapers and roofers.

It is strange, I have encountered many 40 to 60 year old servers and cooks who consider themselves 'middle class.'

They aren't.

They are like the dirt of humanity.

But since they live in a nicely heated home with a nicely heated car and eat food grown to perfection with natural gas fertiziler and petroluem based pesticides, they love their lives.

Max Weber then states that the middle-class enjoys the baby part of religions because they the middle class is family oriented.

America loves babies.

Baby Jesus.

Now no one says on Christmas Day

The New Born Baby Jesus would one day grow up and become a convicted a criminal that would be executed by the Romans. That he would be forced to carry a heavy wooden cross a long way, while being taunted, he would then be nailed into a piece of wood next to two criminals, he would be stabbed in the side by a spear, and have a crown of thorns hung on his head. He would be basically left out to bleed to death and suffer like a dog before a crowd of people.

No one says that.

A baby was born to suffer like a dog.

Instead the middle-class goes, "Oh cute, little baby Jesus. Baby Jesus is cute."

This can be seen in Talladega Nights, when Will Ferrel gives that awesome speech

Ricky Bobby does not enjoy adult Jesus, because adult Jesus is a miserable pile of shoeless poor people shit.

He is like one of those people at Wal-Mart wearing jogging pants and a stained Browns shirt.

The middle-class of America has convinced themselves of this strange thing, that baby Christmas Jesus grows up and becomes a very successful lawyer or doctor, and has a sweet 401k plan and good credit.

No one is concerned with the idea that this baby Jesus fellow was born to suffer.

let them discuss you there, that you care, are thinking things about them, making a decision

judge your friends
i said

and not that funny was said
clever,

judge those close
before the brief silence

judge your friends i said
in terms to be understood

dumbass was said
beer, weed was said

they paused

judge your friends, only
do not look at strangers

only,

do not see them as you see your friends i said
then shit talking was said

and was meant

and i read 'major shitstorm' in the Guardian i said

frozen scum pond

this is what my backyard looks like during a blizzard. there is a pond beyond the first row of dead brush. in the summer it grew algae, but now it only grows ice.

photo courtesy of my roommate, kelly arnold.